[160921]
Today is a bad day for me, 2nd breakdown in my workplace. It has been awhile since I couldn’t control my emotion. I feel wronged... I thought I did a lot already, but still seems to be insufficient. I missed out updating his calendar today. Initially I decided to continue with my usual update into his calendar, despite there’s calendar invite sent by the organisers. Because if the meeting is cancelled & organiser deleted from the calendar, the invite will be removed completely. I cannot remember which meeting was it if I was asked, I also afraid that I may have accidentally deleted it (especially when I somehow had the impression that there’s a meeting but why is the slot empty...). Still, it backfired. No matter what I did, somehow it always get backfired.
First, it’s my mistake for not removing it as I missed out. Ended up I sabotage others, my colleague who took the initiative in scheduling got the “blame” out of the blue. I was told by him that he has to ask for a break from his case to attend “this meeting”. I don’t like it that I made others suffered.
I didn’t want to meet him face-to-face, but it’s hard to avoid since he’s in office this afternoon. I could really feel my eyes filling up with tears and can’t helped being fidgety when I saw him in person... I felt so sad (even when I’m typing this, I felt my nose turned sour). Even asked me about how’s the strength of the Secretaries, if we are still busy & so. Of course we are... he said he’s going to ask for a personal PA, but not sure if he can get it. He asked me to think about it. Sigh.. do I move? Will it be better, I bet it’s going to be so stressful. Sigh....
Ice cream came in time! (Sigh)
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